My baby is one – how is that possible? Where did one year of his life and my maternity leave go? Pregnancy felt like a lifetime, it went so slowly, as did the time before it. But the last year, it vanished. Admittedly the newborn days do feel like a lifetime ago – his one year lifetime too! But they went by in the blink of an eye… He’s already a little person, he has shoes, his own friends, he totters about holding on to furniture, climbs the stairs, claps, feeds himself, waves at everyone, holds long conversations, loves the swings, goes to nursery…. And now that he is one-derful he even has his own tractor, that went down a storm!
And what on earth did we used to do before he was here? I truly can’t remember life before the little one! That’s no bad thing!
And now he is one, to mark his first birthday, I’ve pondered what twelve things were the most important in 12 months.
Time flies
It really does. I struggle to comprehend how my little baby is already a one year old boy. It’s only when I scroll back through the thousands of photos that I see how much has happened in the year. Without the volume photos I’d struggle to believe it has been one year since he was born. But time flies when you are having fun and we’ve had the best of times so I guess it’s not surprising it has flown by and given us so many happy memories. Everyone said make the most of those newborn snuggles and night feeds as they end too soon. I’d squint at them thinking how can this be true. It really is true, as tiring as they are they’re heaven and they really do end too soon. Now I say it to new mums and mums to be!!
Little things
The little things, they are the big things. I blogged about it in the early days when I felt I wasn’t getting anything done and realised that the big stuff doesn’t matter. The thousands of little things that I do every day for my little man are what matters. And also the little things that he does, which are actually major – the first clap or wave, a bit of backward crawling, standing up, cruising, drinking cows milk, eating food and feeding it to himself. I didn’t realise until I had a baby just how big those baby steps are. It’s also the little things you do for yourself too, like reading a book, having a night off. Little things that keep you as you.
Friends and family
Now I get it, everything my Mummy did for me and everything my friends with older children have done and said over the years. Time off with a baby would be incredibly lonely if it wasn’t for amazing friends and family. It’s a funny little club this mother and baby one, talking to strangers on a daily basis because I have a baby or they have a baby, or asking a group what to do about xyz and getting 6 identical responses in unison. It’s like when you know you know! Suddenly spending days with people I didn’t know at all six months ago is what I do and it is great. Totally surreal but lovely. The most important thing for me was finding the right Mum tribe to spend the days with when my old friends were at work. Finding people that are going through it with you at the same time is so important. I’m looking forward to seeing more of my old friends too, now that I am back at work and on the same schedule as them!
Deception, bribery and manipulation
Good grief no one tells you that having a baby teaches you all you need to know about deception, bribery and manipulation! Obviously for all the right reasons, the bribery act and foreign corrupt practices act aren’t relevant here! As parents these are essential skills and part of a bringing up the baby. I imagine we will excel in these areas even more as we head into tantrum territory? Meal times when baby really doesn’t want to eat are I think are an excellent example, especially when we hide things on the spoon underneath the beloved pouch puree that is the last resort to get something in his tummy when he’s teething. The little one has already thrown himself flat on the floor a few times crying and kicking and has been known to arch his back or hide in his hands too. It’s almost time to learn how to deal with a toddler already! He’s definitely very good at expressing himself these days, of course I prefer the smiles, giggles and hugs!
Trust
A baby’s trust is innocent and complete. He has no reason not to trust me and he needs me for everything, or his Daddy. Daddy is his hero and I am his world. Having someone need you so fully and love you so much before they even met you is quite incredible. I still remember the way he gazed at me in the hospital and followed Sam’s voice around the room, just hours after meeting us he already knew us. I felt we broke his trust when he got nappy rash for the first time, he was in pain, I was in tears and it took so long to heal. But thankfully even though I’m sure it was our fault, he still clung to us for cuddles to make it better. He’s starting to build relationships at nursery too now but when I stick my head in the room or garden to collect him he throws down his toys, flings his arms in the air with a smile and crawls towards me!
Body damage
I never felt like I had damaged anything of me in the pregnancy or giving birth part of this adventure but of course there was damage. Hurting my back when he was about 8 months old was the first real pain I had. It reminded me that the little one had basically taken me apart from the inside out, I just hadn’t had a single issue up until that point. Going to post-natal pilates really highlighted just how little of my stomach muscles were still there, i’m so glad I did that. And trying to run too soon after having a baby definitely had its challenges too! I have walked every day I’ve been off work which I have loved, and I’m fairly sure that lugging round the little one means my upper body is stronger than ever!
Daily changes
There are milestones and changes every day. We might not notice them every day, but in that time reserved for scrolling through thousands of photos (once baby is asleep when really we should be asleep) we notice it! Now he’s at nursery his development seems to be even faster again! The growth, the change in expression, the fact he’s starting to do something new. It’s quite incredible. Of course I have all the pictures, this blog and his baby book. But we also decided to capture little anecdotes and firsts as they went along that I have jotted into a notebook. It’s heart warming to turn back through the pages and read the stuff we might have forgotten: the poonami’s in awkward places, the little nicknames, the quirky movements, the start of us seeing his character appear.
Transferable skills
Having a baby and the one on one time with baby has taught me so much about how life should function elsewhere, like in the office. The simple life of bringing up a baby was a lesson for me in how to behave and be at all times, not just when I’m in my Mummy-job. It’s also been a lesson in not giving up. There have been a few nights when I’ve had next to no sleep and other times when I have just not known what to do next. But I’ve managed, I’ve loved it and he’s thrived. And I’ve even done some cooking to keep baby (and occasionally Daddy) happy!
Baby brain and memory
I never believed this was real but oh my goodness it it! I write all the lists now so nothing can be forgotten. I still struggle in grown up conversations trying to find the right words to properly express what I am trying to say. Going back to work has been enjoyable, but the overriding feeling I have is that my brain needs to work jolly hard to get back to where it used to be, where people expect to be and where I need it to be! As for the baby’s brain – well he is well ahead of us. He doesn’t miss a trick and he has a pilots vision (makes feeding quite tricky when he can see cows walking past behind me) and hearing like a bat!
Pure joy
For me and Sam to have our family. But even more so the joy you appreciate in the simplest things living life through a baby’s eyes. When they have fun the delight is so clear. Everything is new to them at some stage, and the joy when he first clapped, first crawled to a toy, first climbed the stairs, felt sand and sea… It’s gorgeous to see him happy and it makes us happy too.
Tough times don’t last
There have been some tough days, and tough nights. Thankfully so far we haven’t had too many, but we’ve had some. When baby is miserable or when I’m totally exhausted. It always looks better after a nap or a cup of tea, or a glass of wine in the evening. When baby settles back to sleep or smiles again, the hard work feels rewarded. Having the support around you makes such a difference – my parents have spent such a lot of time helping me this year and that’s alongside a very hands on Mr P who’s had a blissful 10 weeks of paternity leave this year!
It doesn’t get easier, but it does get better
Lots of people say it gets easier and I don’t think that is true. Of course as you learn your baby things become far simpler, when he gets a routine you can plan a day out and have some degree of certainty when food, milk, sleep might happen. But just when you master that, it changes and you have to learn again. But happily better just gets better – because once baby is mobile, can hug you and smile, well bringing him up is the most rewarding job in the world, even if it is the hardest one too! Now he is one he is a toddler, definitely not easier than having a new born but oh so much fun!
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Every single one of these things goes some way to explaining just how much our one year old has changed our lives. It’s hard to believe one year ago we were in hospital, with a brand new 6lb6oz bundle just starting to get to know our gorgeous little baby boy!
