IF MY BABY COULD TALK – 8 MONTHS OF WONDER

If my baby could talk, I wonder what he would say about all the little things in every day life… What do all those little smiles, laughs, or cries as we go about all the little things in the day really mean. What is he thinking and feeling?

So as we hit our 8 month birthday, I’m pondering all the things I jotted down as I’ve watched him over the past few months…

I wonder if he realises that grown ups don’t wake up for a snack at 4am?

I wonder what he thinks when he’s carried downstairs in the dark, sits in his chair and waits for the milk to be made, then carried back upstairs to drink it? Does he realise it’s just a night time snack or does he feel sad there were no toys to play with?

I wonder if he realises when he wakes in the night to surprise us that actually he’s really good at sleeping right through?

I wonder if the smile and excitement when he’s rescued from his cot first thing in the morning is because he’s actually pleased to see us, or because he just wants company and a clean nappy?

I wonder if when he wakes up in our bed later in the morning, whether he thinks that actually it is his bed really?!

I wonder what he thinks when there is unwrapping of things to be done in the morning! The presents on Christmas day, and our birthdays! Does he wonder why there’s such effort to get to the new toy?

I wonder what he is thinking when he stares up at one of us? Obviously I hope it is adoration but he studies us so much! The earnest stare during a feed, or while he sits and watches me in the shower or when I am scrolling on my phone and don’t realise he’s watching… What’s he thinking?

I wonder if he means to sound exasperated sometimes with his cute little noises… He makes noises like ‘oh Mummy you totally don’t get it, I give up’ and  I wonder if that’s what he intended to mean as it sounds like it!

I wonder what he thinks when he looks in the mirror and sees another little boy held by someone that looks exactly like his mummy. Does he realise when he touches hands on the mirror or waves and smiles back at the mirror that it’s him and us?

I wonder if he notices all the different clothes? I know he notices if a baby grow has animal feet, but how about whether he’s in hot weather clothes or cold, or sleep clothes or a little boy outfit?

I wonder whether he notices if we are wearing glasses or sunglasses or not or if he just knows us regardless?

I wonder what he thinks about when he has to sit in his rocker chair in the bathroom with one or other of us as we go about our ablutions. No fun for anyone, even if the ladybird on the chair plays ‘if you’re happy and you know it’ whenever he tugs the chord!

I wonder if he was excited as us when he sat unassisted and upright for the first time?

I wonder what he is thinking when he smiles widely after an enormous burp, fart or nappy fill? He’s definitely looking for approval, but does he know I’m proud in a giggly kind of way?

I wonder what he thinks when he sees me eating something, drinking tea, playing on my phone or doing something which isn’t playing with him? I hope he doesn’t mind.

I wonder what he thinks a shadow really is? His shadows, and quite frankly all the shadows, fascinate him for hours but how much does he understand of them. He clenches and unclenches his fist and watches the shadow so I think he’s worked it out!

I wonder what he thinks when he looks at the birds in the garden and follows their flight or their sounds, or when he watches the leaves blowing in the wind on the trees on a walk or through the window?

I wonder what he thought of grass the first time he sat on it and started pulling it out of the ground to try and eat it!

I wonder what he thought the first time he came face to face with a dog, or sees cows in the field at the end of the garden?!

I wonder what he thinks when he pulls the light chord to turn it off or on, where does he think the sudden light or darkness comes from?

I wonder how he learnt to do his little cough that seeks attention?

I wonder if when we hold him facing forward and walk around, if he thinks it’s actually him walking too, swinging his legs along?

I wonder what he makes of being sat in a trolley to tour a supermarket? When will he realise it was Waitrose before he was born and now I take him to Aldi!

I wonder if he realises quite how impressive the straining to go to the toilet sound is… And that perhaps it isn’t one for in public?!

I wonder what he really thinks of those sensory classes I am convinced he loves, or a gorgeous walk in the carrier? Does he enjoy it as much as his smile and screams of excitement and amazed eyes imply?

I wonder where he thinks his toys are when he’s not playing with them. He has his favourites, but when they aren’t there where are they? Does he realise they are toys or does he think they are his friends?

I wonder what he thinks when he meets other babies? He reaches for them, but does he realise they are like him, and might be his friends?

I wonder what he thinks of water? When the tap runs, or when we pour a cup into the bath he is fascinated and tries to hold it. It simply has to be the most interesting element he’s come into contact with. What did he think snow was when he saw it first, did he realise it was frozen water, was he dumbfounded by why the garden was no longer green? Water is quite simply the most complex element!

I wonder what he really thinks of swimming and bath time. Swimming he can take so seriously (mostly smiles now thankfully) and yet bath time he uses as an opportunity to squeal with excitement and cover the bathroom in water!

I wonder what he thought the first time he saw the sea, dipped his toes and sat on the beach and played with the sand?

I wonder whether things actually hurt and he remembers the hurt when he topples over and hits his head on the playmat, has a vaccination or hits himself in the face with a toy?

I wonder just how much nappy rash hurt him. He screamed and clung to us as we tried to soothe it, he went off his food. He was so unhappy. How much did it hurt and will he remember it? It broke my heart. I wonder if he appreciated the pancakes he was still made for pancake day, a day late, served on the floor whilst he sat on a muslin with a bare bottom!

I wonder what he thinks of being dressed and undressed and having his nappy changed? He seems to love it, but what does he actually think is going on?

I wonder what he thinks I am trying to do when I wield nail clippers and try to isolate one finger or toe and stop it moving for a couple of seconds?

I wonder if he realises why I want him to roll more often? If he realised how much more fun he’d have playing or sleeping, he would roll more surely? In fact, I wonder what he really thinks to tummy time?

I wonder what he thinks to the two little white teeth that have sprouted out of his gums recently? I wonder what the pain of teething is really like?

I wonder if the reason he sticks his tongue out is because I do? I stick my tongue out subconsciously so I wonder whether he copied me?

I wonder if the constant dribble annoys him? Or indeed if me mopping up with a muslin annoys him more? The same with wiping away snot, I wonder if that annoys him?

I wonder if he notices that Daddy has gone off to work, or on a business trip, or if actually he just notices when he is here and not when he isn’t?

I wonder what he thinks about all the different modes of transport that he’s been on – plane, train, taxi, ferry, car, underground?

I wonder what he made of going away on holiday? I am sure he won’t remember a joy of it, but London, Vienna and Abu Dhabi all add to his life experiences.

I wonder what he thinks when we are both at home or out and about with him? We can see that he thrives when we are both around, but what is he thinking?

I wonder if he knows that kisses and cuddles are affection because we love him?

I wonder what he thinks when he goes to sleep in one place and wakes up somewhere else? Does he just notice that the view has changed or does he realise where we moved him to and from?

I wonder what he thinks about food, about drinking tap water and about all the new tastes and textures that he has to try out when he’s sat in his high chair? Or does he just think the high chair is just another toy?

I wonder if he is worried about falling when he’s carried by us above the ground? And I wonder if he minds whether it is in my arms or in the baby carrier?

I wonder what he thinks when he cries out at night and no one comes immediately? Whether he thinks he’s been abandoned?

I wonder where he thinks I go when I pop out of the room in the daytime to the loo or to make a cup of tea? Does he think I’ve gone to China like I read in a book, or does he realise I’m still close by and would never leave him?

I wonder how annoyed he gets when he babbles or cries what he wants (dadada, mmmm, emmay or gagaga) and we don’t understand?

I wonder why 10 nights out of 11 he sleeps right through and the 11th he just can’t, what was different?

I wonder now he can kneel or stand and hold onto something if we set it up for him, if he realises it’s one step closer to mobility?

I wonder if it’s a nasty dream upsetting him if he cries out in the night in his sleep, or if it’s something else?

I wonder if he realises how beneficial a nap is? As much as he resists some of his naps, when he wakes he’s always happy, happier still the longer the nap.

I wonder what changed which means he can suddenly nap for 90 minutes rather than his previous 22 minute special?

I wonder what he makes of the things on the wall in the house that we tour and stare at and discuss each day. Does he recognise them or are they new each day? Does he find them interesting? And when he smiles at pictures of himself and us, does he realise it is him and us?

I wonder what he makes of the camera that is almost constantly pointed at him?

I often wonder what he thinks about? We think it is about chasing butterflies, wizarding and fighting dragons… But I guess we won’t ever know for sure!

I wonder if he notices that he doesn’t always sleep in the same place? His cot, his travel cot, a cot in a hotel, the car seat, the pram or the carrier?

I wonder if he realises just how gorgeous he is and how we pinch ourselves daily that he’s ours and he’s finally here?

I wonder if he realises how proud I am whenever anyone says he’s gorgeous?

I wonder if he knows how much I worry for his safety and progression and wish the very best of everything for him?

I wonder what my heart beat was like when he was in my tummy and if he misses it?

I wonder if he realises he’s home when he comes home?

I wonder if he realises that we are mummy and daddy?

I wonder if he realises quite how much my heart swells when he smiles at me or cuddles or clings to me?

I wonder what he’ll look like with hair, or with more teeth. What he’ll be like as a toddler and when he grows up too?

I wonder if he does recognise people he sees often, or if that toothless grin is just in response to any smile?

I wonder how much he remembers and knows and how much is a happy surprise each day?

I wonder what his first memory will be?

I wonder if he’s as thrilled we are his mummy and daddy as we are that he is our little boy? Does he pinch himself daily to make sure this isn’t a dream?

I wonder if the look of adoration and love that he gives us with a beaming smile is just that?

Oh if my baby could talk, the questions I would ask him!