HAVE YOU TRIED 1-2-1 COACHING YET?

Who’s tried coaching, when there’s no sport involved? And hands up if you don’t spend enough time focussed on yourself? I’d have answered no and yes respectively a few weeks back. I never have time for myself, time gets eaten as do my grand plans for world domination (instead I eat biscuits whilst doing 6 other things that I subconsciously prioritise). But thankfully I made time for coaching recently, no sport involved, and spent time focussed on my priorities with the help of a coach.

At work I’m lucky to have amazing coaches as bosses and regular group coaching (with my peers and also in working parent sessions). But I’ve never explored 1-2-1 coaching before and haven’t until now appreciated its benefits. Through My Bump 2 Baby I have been lucky to spend time (virtually, this is 2020) with the excellent Nicki from MumMe Mojo Coaching. And she’s definitely got rid of any scepticism I had about coaching. Nicki has worked in the corporate world and she is a mum. She knows the challenges I have.

Life coaching, business coaching – whatever you want to call it – is valuable. Having a conversation with someone that doesn’t know you about your life and challenges isn’t mumbo-jumbo. Instead it’s a great way to learn from yourself with their help, do things a little more mindfully. And take back control of things, whether at home or at work.

What is a coaching session

We scheduled a 90 minute zoom call ahead of which Nicki asked me a few questions about the sort of things on my mind. I didn’t need to be too specific but mentioned work progression and work-life balance. I did wonder what we’d talk about for such a long time, but we barely stopped for breath! Coaching is basically a guided chat. Nicki asked questions which encouraged me to talk and to think. We started by scaling where I was 1-10 on different things, and then identified why I thought that, where I had boundaries, what I focus on at work, what makes me tick etc… A coach prompts thought by sharing ideas of approaches, asking questions or suggesting things for us to think about. The coachee takes them and talks and gets to new ideas and answers. An independent coach doesn’t tell you what to do, they make you think in a safe place and help guide you through.

Why does it work

It works because it isn’t training. It’s different. And it works because it isn’t someone more senior than you saying how they’d do it. It’s all about what you think. It’s a time that forces you to think about you which we don’t spend enough time doing. And we suffer as a result. A coach listens, asks pertinent questions, gives suggestions to think through a challenge. A coach doesn’t need to know what job you do or how it should be done, in fact it is better that they don’t as coaching isn’t about how one technically does something, but instead forces you to think about the bigger picture things and the little steps you might take to change something.

It’s a bit like sleep coaching for toddlers, which I thought was nonsense until I used the facility at work to talk to one! We can all read the books and nod along that we do it just right, just so. But when you talk to a consultant who asks you why you do abc, you realise you’re actual doing acb. A coach is the same – they ask you ‘so when are you going to do that’ ‘how are you going to do it’ ‘who are you going to speak to’ and you have to answer. It makes you set goals and you’re held to them. You use the models that we hear about in group coaching sessions, but they come to life with your own thoughts in them – eating frogs and being a lighthouse never seemed so obvious!

Choosing the right coach

If I was coached by an accountant in a large professional services firm then they would have a view of what an accountant in a large professional services firm should operate like. I am accountant in a large professional services firm but just like everyone else, I also have a whole life outside the office that needs accounting for (sorry) too. You need to find a coach that understands your situation and the juggling you have to do. Finding Nicki was great. She understands what it is to work for a major business, at the same time as dealing with the baby brain thing and the challenge of wanting to progress but always be there for a child too.

I’m only a year back to work and whilst I’ve caught up quick, even now some of the old corporate me isn’t back yet. That needs coaching! And she ‘gets it’. She’s coaching from experience and knows from experience the challenges that will be thrown at me. Your coach needs to be someone you have chemistry with to make it easy to answer their questions and ponder a vision you wouldn’t normally say aloud!

What did I gain

I identified areas in my personality that either make me do or not do something. Whether that’s virulent evening email checking to not miss a thing, or doing things others are perfectly capable of. But then delving deeper, we hit the nail on the head that I’m shy of talking about my achievements and telling people what I’ve done. Whilst I’m a driver in the work I do, I am also easily pushed around with a need to please and remain in control. She’s helped me realise that and to carve out some things I can do differently and some timed actions that I need to jolly well get on with.

And at such a surreal time in all our lives, speaking to a coach about what has become routine and a new way of working is valuable in itself! I almost don’t realise how my work habits have changed and how I allocate even littler time to me and my than before.

Many senior people I work with have 1-2-1 coaches and for years I’ve wondered why, and indeed how they have time for it. But I get it now. Having a sounding board that you don’t work with, aren’t married to, who doesn’t ‘know’ you, but does know the challenges and decisions you are faced with at work and home really is time and money well spent. To progress, 1-2-1 coaching is something we need to make time for.

Working mums, I really do recommend Nicki if you are looking for a coach to manage the sort of balance and progression dilemmas that mums have.