BOOK REVIEW FOR MUMS – THE JOY OF BEING

It’s a joy to read a book, with a cuppa or a glass of wine, by the fire or catching some rays! I find it really relaxing to get swept into a different (normally fictional) world for a while. When I was nursing I was able to read for hours a day, but nowadays it’s more likely just a snatched few minutes when baby naps! When My Bump 2 Baby offered me the chance to pre-read and review The Joy of Being, I jumped at it. I wanted to start making time for reading (and for me) again!

I don’t read self-help books, I have a book shelf of handy ones I’ve been given on courses at work that remain unopened… But something was different here and the timing to read The Joy of Being was unique. As the author Marina Pearson put it herself it’s ‘a book to support mums to stress less and live more’. Exactly what’s needed! This is the author’s second book and her intent was for mums to gain an experience rather than read it to take notes!

The timing is apt for me as I’ve just started what is basically a phased return to work at the end of my maternity leave. To start with I am leaving my little boy with my husband when I go to work as we are sharing the parental leave. And then all too soon we will be taking him to nursery four days a week… Finding joy in amongst such a sea change to life with the baby is essential.

I know from friends that finding your feet as a working mum can be a rocky, tiring and emotional path, whether maternity leave was an idyllic time (it has been for me apart from the odd day) or otherwise. So having the chance to learn from an expert and read some advice before I need it could not have been more useful or timely!

Before reading the book…

I hadn’t really let myself think about going back to work and how I would juggle trying to have it all… In fact I still haven’t which is surreal as I am writing this on the train into London and work!! I knew it was coming down the track at me but never realised how fast! I am pretty good at dealing with stress and priorities and getting things done, but the addition of a little person totally reliant on me adds a very different and emotive angle to the juggle. I would drop anything for my little boy.

After reading the book…

Well, as it happens I finished reading the book on my commute on the first day of my phased return so the things I pondered and picked up on in the book could go straight into practice.

Marina is a executive coach and the advice in the book is applicable for career women. This for me was critical as I am not going back to work to twiddle thumbs. If I am going to be away from my baby I am going to achieve things in that time. So the value of the case studies from some of her senior clients, and her wise words about how to ‘be’ and what affects that were invaluable and totally en pointe compared to what I have seen before.

I enjoyed reading the book as a time out. It isn’t full of ‘do this’ or ‘do that’ or ‘how to’… Instead it’s thought provoking and focussed on helping you think for yourself what the best way to do something is. She explains what is likely to be going on in your mind and it’s up to the reader to deal with it using their new knowledge.

I am unsure if I learnt anything brand new, and that isn’t a criticism of the book. I’ve been working for a good number of years and have had a lot of coaching in that time. But the messages from this book came at a time when I might have forgotten their importance in my new role as a working mum and of course because I wanted to read it they sunk in more too!

I won’t ruin the book for you, especially because I think different people will take away different things from the narrative and background. For me I found thought provoking bits on finding one’s way through Mum guilt… Saying no… Slowing down, being less busy and doing things carefully… Remaining positive, confident and unflustered… Measuring success appropriately… Looking after oneself and our relationships first and foremost… Remembering that our family is our true need, and anything else is a bonus. Understanding how stress perpetuates…

Basically putting all the business skills and resilience tips taught in the business arena into a frame that fits motherhood too, with a focus on the importance of self-care. It’s inspired really.

And on day one back at work having finished the book that morning on my commute, how did I do? Well, I bowled straight in to career conversations with senior partners I look up to, I’m finding out how they make it work. I flexed my technical mind again and it still worked. I said no to a meeting that was too late in the day for me to get home to see the baby. So we found a better time. And I got away early enough to be home for baby’s bath time, his milk and cuddles with him before bedtime. Day two was tougher due to train delays, it’s always going to be a frustration when I stick to my side of things, and the train company doesn’t…

The hard bit will be sticking to the good practices as I get busier and swept into the hectic excitement of work. Of course there will be pinch points (and business trips) but I need them to be the breaks from the norm, not the norm. As one of my colleagues said, you need to be happy with home life and work life to be happy as a working mum. Setting boundaries and knowing the things I hold sacrosanct is key.

Marina didn’t write The Joy of Being for us to take notes on, but I did jot down a handful of take aways that I am just going to slip inside my work notepad to keep the focus on holding true to me, baby, my husband and my job in just the way that I want to.

Try for yourself

I was gifted the full book to review but luckily there’s a chapter for you to read as well. Click to www.marinapearson.com/chapter if you want to grab some #mumrelief