AN ODE TO MY MATERNITY LEAVE

I’ve been back at work for six months and I’m not going to lie – it’s been difficult. But it has also been excellent. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Difficult is worth it because I (for the most part) love being back. And even more importantly Little B loves nursery and is having a lot of fun. And thank goodness he is delighted to see me or Daddy at the end of the day too.

Maternity leave for the most part was a pretty dreamy year. It raced past far quicker than I ever thought it would and there’s plenty about it to miss, now that I back working my 9-5 (and a few other hours in between…)!

There’s many things to miss about maternity leave, but nowadays when I take my one “day off” with Little B each week I am full of respect for anyone that does it full time. A day with a toddler is exhausting.

So here’s what I miss the most about maternity leave…

Lie ins and naps

If baby slept then I could sleep. It took a long time to get into that habit as there was always 101 other things to do in the house, but as he got older and started napping better (longer than the 22minutes he once thrived on), I took advantage of 90 minutes of shut eye! Morning lie ins I was even more fond of. He didn’t award me these every day, but when he did they were blissful. Mr P would creep out of the house leaving a bottle of milk next to the bed and a cup of tea for me in a themos cup. Being able to wake up to the baby alarm rather than having to get up at a set time really was awesome. Lie ins were typically on days we needed to be up and out of the house early…

Being flakey

So yes, most days we had a plan to go to a class or to see a friend or to do a specific visit or walk. But really, those plans were never set in stone. Everyone expects a new mum to be late, or to drop out and whilst it is nice to prove people wrong it is also quite refreshing to sometimes wake up and decide that really today isn’t going to run as planned. Most important was having a good day and if that meant missing a class or rescheduling a play date then so be it. I found in the early days I was trying to fit far too much in and B and I both preferred a laid back approach.

Having no timetable

There’s few times in life when you really can do as you please. Obviously only to the extent that it suits the baby, but I liked taking advantage of it.

Coffee and cake

Not every day once I stopped breast feeding, else I would now be the size of a house… But how nice is it to meet a friend for a coffee and a cake, or sometimes just go out with baby for a coffee date. It’s nice to sit and watch the world go by and not be in a rush, I can count on one hand the times at work I have stopped for coffee or lunch since I have been back.

Being the primary carer

When Mr P went back to work after his first five weeks of paternity leave I was terrified, even though we had three more weeks to prepare than most. The solo responsibility felt like more than anything at work, despite me being responsible for some serious stuff at work. But once we began, apart from the odd day of trauma, I loved being in charge and taking all the decisions. Being the little ones world for that first year, week in week out, is one of the most rewarding things I have ever done!

Weekends off

Being in charge in the week meant come weekend we would have a role reversal so that Mr P and B had their time. In comparison to weekdays I did very little, apart from obviously being the organised one in the background. Going back to work means nobody gets a weekend off, time is short and we spent it together as a family!!

Talking to anyone and everyone

I don’t think I am an extrovert, but one of the things I really enjoyed was talking to everyone. A smiling gorgeous baby is a door opener to conversation: in the supermarket, the doctors, a coffee shop, on a walk… Everywhere. And I loved it. Nonsense chats that make you feel good are really nice. B smiles and waves at most people and only the hardest don’t return it. I know he has made the day of some elderly people with his smile and giggles, but on a quiet or difficult day for us their conversation made ours too.

Sleep

Whilst for the most part these days B is a good sleeper, I now get less sleep than I came to enjoy. There is less time for sleeping when you thrown in a job alongside mum-life.

Being scruffy

We have a ‘dress for your day’ policy at work now so I rarely have to be smart at work… But even so, I do miss leggings and jeggings, a T-shirt, jumper and thick socks to kick around in all day. There’s something quite nice about not having to always make an effort. We spent time outdoors everyday and my wardrobe is outdoors dominated now, which isn’t great for a choice of work clothes!!

Fresh air

Being outside for a few hours every day was so good for me. I love where we live and the benefits of fresh air and vitamin d and of exercise really can’t be understated.

Talk to myself

Clearly when you are at home with a baby or toddler you aren’t talking to yourself, you are talking to them. I really notice now when I’m pottering at work, or doing the shopping, that I’m still talking to myself. I’m not sure it is as acceptable when you’re alone as it is when you have a baby in tow?

Ignoring my phone

One of the first things I did on maternity leave was turn the volume and notifications off. It’s too easy to idly scroll and reply to messages when actually there’s someone that is far more important and who is changing by the minute. It’s nice to legitimately ignore the phone in a way you can’t in working life. It’s also a habit that I am glad I pushed myself to do as much as Instagram, Facebook and The Daily Mail and nice to idly scroll through why the baby gurgles on its mat, that wasn’t going to benefit me or the baby.

No deadlines

I think the only deadline I had was to make sure that I got to the shops for nappies and milk powder before we ran out. For a full year! That and a few doctors appointments for me or B. That was about it in terms of things that had to happen at and by a certain time. Bliss!

Time to think

I really notice this now I am back at work. When my laptop goes on when I’ve done the nursery run, or the moment I get on the train in the morning, up until the point when I log off to do either pick up or bedtime… I just don’t stop. Every minute is filled, my diary is back to back and every moment that I am work is made the most of. No time for idle chatter by the water machine or grabbing a coffee in Benugo. It’s made me so much more efficient and I can get so much more done than ever before. It’s also made me realise how inefficient I was before! I do however miss having the time to ponder, think and strategise. I force myself to take the time on a Friday when things are typically quieter.

Not being ill

During maternity leave I was rarely ill. We were always outside. We spent time with other babies a similar age that weren’t exposed to one germ after the other. Now that we have the constant fun of nursery bugs, one of us is always ill. And let me tell you, the bugs that come home from nursery are super-bugs. Sore throats and ear aches like I have never known before. And hand foot and mouth I definitely think is best avoided… My nose has run since 1st July…

Noticing change coming

These days we suddenly notice B is doing something he couldn’t do that last week. But we didn’t notice him learning to do it, just that he now does. When I was with him all day I could see the change coming and I would have my nose in the Wonder Weeks book to see what to look for too. These days I don’t get the change to look for the change coming, or in fact to read up on what I should be doing differently. It’s bizarre, but we never miss a milestone.

There are definitely days when I wish I wasn’t at work and was at home on extended maternity leave with Little B. He’s gorgeous and a pleasure to be with. Especially when there are tough days at work or when it’s absolute chaos trying to have it all. But I think it is worth it for all of us, especially for him at nursery.