BRINGING UP BABY: 6 WEEKS IN

Every day in life is a learning day… And nothing compares to the speed of learning with a new baby. It comes thick and fast… Not just the poo! It’s surreal, I had more training to be an office first aider than a parent! I never let myself get ahead of things in the pregnancy either to really think what to expect. Everything is new, however straightforward. And whatever you are told or read, there’s no text book that gets it right as the baby hasn’t read it…

One-handed during feeds, this is what struck me in the first 6 weeks! And one-handed typing has already taught me the need for phone discretion, even at this tender age he is aware when full attention isn’t on him!

It’s a long one, but it’s as much for me as a diary as for others to enjoy! 

Health visitors aren’t always right. They are there to help and they do. But in one area – feeding – I felt judged. But I held my ground – combi-feeding is working for us and I’ve thought it through. The midwife home visits for the first ten days after birth were however excellent, always there at just the right time for the next question.

Watching him breathing is stressful. The little chest goes up and down massively, then won’t for a while. Accompanied by really loud breathing for a while then near silence. Watching isn’t good for anyone’s health. After a few days we slowly started to believe that Baby P would carry on breathing… Without us watching.

He is growing far too quickly. So many people said enjoy the nighttime feeds as they’ll be over too soon. In just 6 weeks he’s gone from newborn scribbet to a little boy. I miss the newborn cuteness but I love the character that he has already developed. And despite not enjoying being woken for his 2am feed, I do enjoy Mummy and Baby time at night and those big grey-blue eyes!

Paternity leave is a lifesaver. I dread to think what I would have done without Mr P? He was a rock looking after us both and taking on the bottle feeds. I thank our lucky stars his employer gives him 6 weeks paid paternity. He’s taken the first 4 and whilst it has been full on, time flew by and we had the most special time as a family.

Baby P is a little time waster, in the nicest possible way! Everything takes an age, and that’s before adding the hours spent watching and cuddling him. I love him wasting my time. I haven’t read a book or watched TV! Even in the nighttime feeds I watch the little man avidly. Getting out the house to an appointment on time is a mission, but it is possible, with planning (and luck)!

It’s hard to soothe him if I smell of milk. This has become easier. Thankfully now he doesn’t need to be in a milk coma to sleep, he’s (touch wood) pretty good at getting off to sleep himself! We have the sweetest soothing cuddles after feeding which I adore.

Routine – not yet, but it’s coming! Baby P feeds about every three hours in the daytime and takes a nap after every other feed. In the night he typically wakes up once for a smaller feed. But some days we cluster feed, chugging more than seems possible as often as possible. Alternate days we are laid back and uninterested.

He isn’t bothered by high temperature. Baby P arrived mid-heatwave and we were out of our minds worrying about whether he was too hot and how we might cool the bedroom and house. Turns out he really didn’t care. Quite happy in a nappy and sleeveless sleep suit in the daytime and a blanket over his legs at night. Key was getting him plenty of milk to not dehydrate.

He’s like a little old person with his mannerisms. The way he sits and what he does with his hands reminds me so much of my grandparents. His ‘jazz hands’ moro reflex I didn’t like and thankfully is wearing off. It’s replaced with wizard hands waving around – casting spells, with this eyes shut and lips pursed!

He will occasionally cry inconsolably and it breaks my heart. Especially now his tear ducts are open. We don’t let Baby P cry it out, he’s far too little. But sometimes it takes a while to find what is wrong to make it better. It’s the most pressured bit of parenting so far. I feel like we’ve made headway recognising different cries and mannerisms.

I went on a short baby first aid course – vital to know how to if ever needed.

My life is now about wee and poo and the discussion of it. And removing snot from his nose by hand (the nasal aspirator is too big)… A different type of risk management to my job!! Oh my, he does some impressive stuff so I guess there’s a reason it’s high up the conversation list.

Feeding in public was easy after the first time. I haven’t had anyone frown at me and we’ve fed in pubs, coffee shops, restaurants, a ferry, the car, in a field, the sailing club ladies changing room… It is pretty surreal being able to sit down and personally provide dinner to my baby. I’m glad I can, but it is hard work and a time investment.

Baby P arrived into the world knowing how to feed. How is that? Before I was even wheeled off to theatre he had found his food source and worked out how to use it. Fascinating signals – massive wide eyes, a gorgeous woodpecker motion if one of us is holding him and flailing fists! If he starts sucking his fist we missed the early signals.

Breast and bottle is possible. My baby from day one agreed that well fed is best, whichever way he can get it! Such a relief to do both, as I was worried when I didn’t have enough milk that using the bottle would prevent me from feeding him. Thankfully he holds his hands up meerkat style in excitement for either. I get my bonding time with Baby P and Daddy does too with the bottle!

Nipple shields… Game changers! Sometimes you get a grumpy greedy baby and however good the latch his mania leads to a sore feed… Putting on a nipple shield meant no pain, added to the Lanisoh cream all was recovered and back to normal in a day! He doesn’t mind the shield either, probably thinks I am a bottle now…

Hand me down clothing is great. There’s no need to be precious about new stuff, even for a first born. Of course we have new stuff too, but a baby would look cute in a bin bag and clothes last ten minutes before they are out-grown.

Expensive isn’t necessarily best! The clothes from the supermarkets are cute and inexpensive. And we won’t be attached to them when the inevitable staining occurs! And I went to Aldi on a recommendation – their nappies are better than Pampers, and a fraction of the price!!

And when it comes to baby presents, the mum’s that gave us presents have shown me just how ‘safe’ I was at gifts! I now ‘get it’ when it comes to what to get a new baby!! We have (he has) been overwhelmingly spoilt!

Stuff changes hands rapidly. I’m in a new club now, there’s always someone that has something to pass onto us that their baby has used and grown out of. I need a few more friends to have some babies as our house is filling up fast and I will be handing things over to newer mums soon!

Sleep when baby sleeps. I am rubbish at this and find myself tidying the house or scrolling on my phone. But when I do snooze at the same time as him in the daytime it does do me the power of good.

I can survive on less than nine hours sleep a night. And once up in the night for a feed I am remarkably awake. Bad news though, I had been looking forward to sleeping on my tummy for 7 months… Managed one night before my milk arrived… Kidding myself being allowed to sleep on my back is as good!

If baby needs a blood test then Mummy will cry as much, if not more. Blood tests after the day 5 heel prick are proper ones. In the hand. I was left weeping into his muslin whilst Mr P went with Baby P who screamed the house down…

A playmat and a bouncing chair are key to peace. For a little while at least. He can sit in the bouncer while I have a shower and is quite happy. The playmat with all the dangling animals is probably his favourite place (second only to my chest) – hours of gurgles and smiles. I love it as he is so animated! If he tires, we turn him 45 degrees and it’s like a new toy! The wonder of a baby’s fascination with everything new.

Another calming tool is classic FM or the theme tunes from Radio 4. These have worked better for us than white noise… Although Baby P is a big fan of hand driers!!

Too many visitor cuddles in one day does not a peaceful night make. Too much stimulation. One or two people a day is the maximum. And if he’s grumpy when we are out he stays in his bassinet rather than getting cuddles.

A baby likes being naked. Baby P gurgles with delight and throws his legs and arms around when he has no clothes on. He also seems to like being on his changing mat as much as his playmat! And moving his legs like a bicycle motion and stretching them into his chest really helps his wind…

New grandparents make your heart melt. They waited like we did for the happy ending. To see them with him now gives us and idea of what we and he means to them. It’s adorable, a real sense of family. We share pictures regularly and I know they are lapped up with love!

I am one of those mothers that can take 6,000 photos in a month. I didn’t think I would be but I don’t think there is any escaping it. Everything they do is fascinating. And once I’ve taken them… Hours of scrolling time. It’s only in the photos that I can see how much he has changed and how quickly.

I have a ‘talking to baby voice’. Why, no one knows?! But it exists, in fact I had it when I talked to the bump. It can’t be avoided!! Mr P and the grandparents have them too!

Babies have an amount of wind anyone would be proud of! Two weeks old and waking yourself up due to the size of your own fart is impressive. And being encouraged to publicly burp after each drink, must be even better. I get such an indignant look each time I burp him!

The jury is out on Infacol, but it does seem to reduce the amount of wind which seems to cause him discomfort.

NCT is essential. They are the girls that are there in the middle of the night going through the same dramas. The ones that can offer advice based on what they did half a day earlier, which could be wrong but might be right. It’s vital to go through this adventure with others learning at the same time. Although nowhere in NCT did we cover the need for post-natal upper body strength, which is essential for lifting and feeding!

The sound of his breathing is akin to living in a zoo or the ark. Especially at night. How can such a small person make such a racket? And just watching him sleep is exhausting. Legs flailing in the air, arms waving, farts, little squeaks, noisy breathing.

His awake sounds are super cute, as he discovers his vocabulary. We seemingly have a new one each day and go pretty gaga over them! I also adore the satisfied little squeaks I hear as he feeds!

Awareness of surroundings and us advances by the day. After those dozey first days I have been staggered by how quickly he has developed his awareness. From the start he recognised my voice but now watching him on the play mat or when we are out and about it’s incredible how much he seems to be trying to process. I love that he clearly recognises us both.

Saying goodbye to elasticated waists was bliss. I thought I would love them for ever but putting my old jeans on at one month was bliss. Clothes that actually fit and don’t fall down. And a choice of clothes too rather than the few things I stingily bought for my maternity!

Dressing baby really is made hard by design. On a cold day an outfit without feet means constant putting on and re-finding of socks. Neck lines that aren’t wide make it near impossible to pull on the clothes from the feet up. And of course, Baby P knows exactly how to make the process harder.

Bath time should be fun. Baby P didn’t think so for 5 weeks in an Ikea baby bath until a friend suggested a Schnuggle bath. The best £20 we have spent to have smiles and gurgles at bath time rather than Chinese water torture!

Get out of the house every day. Be it to meet friends for a coffee and cake, a walk in the fresh air or just a trip to Tesco. The local coffee mornings with strangers are also great to build a local mum network. I have only spent a couple of days alone at home with Baby P and I can see how it could drive me nuts. Stimulation and a scenery change is good for us all!

When he smiles at me, or us. Oh my word – it makes my heart melt. His real smiles started just before 6 weeks and the books are right, when they smile properly you know! Lopsided and cute, with a little gurgle sometimes. Even better is standing in front of the mirror for them. I love that he smiles in recognition of me or Mr P too!

But really, with everything that we’ve leant, it’s him. Just him. That we are learning and cosseting.

Since the day he was born…

To already celebrating 6 weeks in all his animated cuteness…

I love his heels that I could feel jutting out of my tummy for weeks. Even the hiccups that I felt for weeks of pregnancy. I adore staring into his eyes – bright and big following me around when he wants milk or hears my voice across the room. He gives the best cuddles, and I love his pecking. His hands are petite and gorgeous – clinging onto one of my fingers or flailing around. His feet are so active, toes curled up or down for whichever reason. I love his little squeaks and gurgles that make up his little language. The look of recognition in his face when he sees me. And his gorgeous sometimes lopsided smile.

The gorgeous professional pictures above are by Lasting Impressions by Lucy. Money well spent however good our own 6,000 photos are…

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