6 MONTHS BRINGING UP BABY

I have absolutely no idea where 6 months bringing up baby has gone… From my tracking app I can tell you we’ve had 1,120 nappies, 4,000+ ounces of formula, 200+ hours of nursing, 122 baths and 15 tastes of solids… I do love a bit of baby data! It has definitely been a busy time. A lot of hard work. A lot of fun. The best six months of my life. I hope the next six months don’t go so fast… But they will…

There isn’t a day I don’t have a ‘pinch me’ moment when I look at him. He’s here, happy, we’re doing well and quite frankly that we’ve managed to get to 6 months so uneventfully. There’s a little boy that’s ours and he’s gorgeous, especially his smile! It is still the most surreal experience. Life continues to be about the little things these days. I love them and hope that by getting them right I’m doing a good job by him.

So the last three months… We have certainly had some rubbish days and sleepless nights but on balance the good has outweighed the tough. In fact some of the toughest have been recently, driven by colds, teething and no doubt weaning too. We have gone from a little scribbet that could terrify me to a sturdy smiling baby boy that I can mostly work out!

His personality is bashful. He can sit and has just learnt to roll. He smiles and laughs. He has real tears when he cries, heartbreaking. He’s tasted solid (puréed) food. He chats and cuddles and shows deep interest in most things. He makes it very clear if he is bored or unhappy. There’s a milestone most days! He makes me so proud. And my heart melts when he smiles at people he meets… I am also sheepishly proud of his enormous belches that frequently surprise people!

I am his universe and Daddy is his hero! To be so needed and adored by one person makes my heart swell every time I think about it or get awarded a smile or flapping excitable arms. The emotions I talked about after three months are here… But bigger and deeper, if that was possible.

Days like these

The days when he is happy are blissful. He smiles, waves his arms or smacks his hands on the floor when he’s sitting up. He chatters cutely, dribbles profusely, laughs and gurgles. I’m followed around the room with his eyes. I love those days so much, and they outnumber the tough ones. He shows delight in everything and naps happily ready for more fun.

But days can be tough and stretch out unendingly. Occasionally, thank goodness, I clock watch to the end. Can I really shake a toy amusingly for another half an hour… But even on a tough day, at the end of the day when he’s tucked up happily in bed (having had fun time in the bath with Daddy) I still reflect fondly. I have to try not to text Mr P when we are having a torrid time. If he’s under the weather, in a leap, in a growth spurt, won’t nap, didn’t have a good night, the milk is sour, the toys are crap… Normally I don’t try hard enough… Those days are tough, and we spend as much time outside as possible! Even a trip round Aldi can improve the day! If I let it stress me out, it’s worse.

Something I learnt at Baby Sensory is that babies have a 20 minute attention span, before they are tired or bored and need a change of scene. That knowledge was a game changer to all round happiness and entertainment!

Christmas through a baby’s eyes is magical. Every single light, sound, smell and bit of wrapping paper. And it isn’t just at Christmas. He studies and takes in everything he sees, all the time! Every new thing is fascinating. Laps of the house to see different objects and photos are always appreciated. Staring, smiling and touching the hand of the boy in the mirror is always a winner. As is anything new to him each day. I love appreciating the world through his eyes and trying to imagine what it must be like. Every time that we do something new, whether it is a first taste of food, a new class, new toys, swimming… The time ducky had babies was one of his best evenings ever! The bubble machine. Everything at any baby sensory class. Eyes are wide, he is captivated and it’s a pleasure to see.

Healthy baby healthy mummy

I have no recollection of the pain of childbirth. I know I went through hell as the epidural failed and they had to mildly sedate me to help manage the pain… But the moment baby landed on my chest all memory was deleted from my memory! Midwives are the unsung heroes of having a baby and give so many the present they most want, at all hours.

My pregnancy weight fell off which surprised me, despite eating all the cake and enjoying all the coffee. Long live breast feeding! The moment I slowed down on nursing, the exercise did have to re-start in earnest… And now he is weaning, in baby’s presence (at least) my diet is likely to improve further! Getting out running again has been fantastic, but increasing the length of our daily walks has been the best thing for me – fitness and figure but also to keep my head clear.

I worry about him a lot of the time, about what could go wrong. I think it’s normal and I think it’s compounded because of how long it took us to have him… But it’s real, and needs to be kept in check. Babies are incredibly resilient. I understand why my parents worry about me, even now! I also understand even better than before just how hard they worked and what an amazing job they’ve done.

Worry warts

Worry as I do, at 5 1/2 months I happily (sort of) moved him from the cot in our room to his cot bed in his nursery. And I actually slept – I didn’t just watch the monitor like a crazy lady! We did it at the right time – he has far more space and we all sleep more soundly. I can actually see him more clearly on the monitor screen than I could when he was right next to me. And I can hear his soft breathing and if I look at the screen really carefully, I can see the rise and fall of his chest!

My baby in pain hurts me more than if I were in pain myself. Be it a bloodtest, a vaccination or a nasty dose of cold or sickness. I want to take the pain away and absorb it myself.

The first time he was ill we almost panicked. I can see why so many new parents find themselves in A&E over something minor. They look so fragile when they are poorly. We haven’t had much illness so far, touch wood. A few little colds in the early days and then at Christmas a bigger cold. Phlegm mixed with milk that came up as sick and decorated Mr P, the carpet and our duvet did stop us in our tracks… Baby was a bit shocked and scared and so were we. Thankfully, he was fine.

Real crying and screaming and real tears are heartbreaking. Even if it is something minor and over in a few minutes it upset him such a lot that you want nothing but to be able to fix it. Immediately. I have a feeling though that he can turn it on to his advantage… He’s definitely had the measure of us at times!

Care for us all

Some days it isn’t possible to do anything apart from look after baby. Move away from him and he notices and cries. Fun as it is to play all day, it’s exhausting and I do look forward guiltily to the team naps! Other days baby can amuse himself happily for hours with his toys…

As a result I am still pretty rubbish at getting supper ready for us. It’s all I can do to keep the house tidy and the fridge stocked. Perhaps I play with baby too much and should leave him to his own devices, but, I far prefer a happy baby to a weepy one!

Mum guilt is a thing. If you knick a finger trying to cut a nail, have to leave him to cry because you’re driving, put him in front of the TV to finish a chore, run out of milk when you are nursing… Whatever it is that you are feeling guilty about, it is a guilt like no other.

Proper work has to go into Mummy and Daddy and me time – self care is so important. It took me too long to realise I needed to look after myself to look after the baby. I still don’t think I am doing enough but I will. We have managed one date night but we need to make it a regular event, to get out of the house just the two of us. Obviously we talk about the baby!

Developing so fast

He is growing up so quickly and knows his own mind. Those newborn milk coma cuddles are few and far between. Even before they are ‘on the move’ they are ‘on the move’ wanting to see and touch new things all the time.

Thankfully newborn cuddles are replaced with intentional hugging and kissing, and sheer delight when they see you. He loves hugging us so that he can ‘stand up’ to see better, and kissing us in a bubble blowing kind of way! At around 5 months he started babbling mamamama and mummy… My heart exploded! In the last week we have started to hear dada clearly in the babble too. When he is studying something or smiling at us, he sticks his tongue out too. Turns out I do it too whenever I concentrate!

It is best to never compare your baby to other babies. Whilst the Wonder Weeks is incredibly accurate, each baby does things slightly differently. Baby P just couldn’t be bothered to roll until a week ago. He’s great at tummy time, great at his ‘happy baby’ yoga pose and started sitting up really early… But rolling just isn’t of interest, he’d still rather move round the room like a seal. A lesson in going with the flow, they do what they want at their pace. He knows his own mind and will do what he wants when he wants.

As for sitting, oh my word when he first sat unaided at the start of December his world changed entirely. Head height with his toys, looking down on things he was playing with his in hands, sitting next to us on the sofa or bed. He loves sitting so much he now hate to lie down! My world changed too – my back sighed happily!

He found his feet on Christmas Day. Previously he had only really noticed them if his socks or baby grow had animal feet… But at Christmas he started removing socks and sitting on my lap he found his actual feet!

We’ve been working hard on our baby signing for things like milk, nappy, bath, duck, hello… I do the basic signs along when I say the words. He hasn’t managed any yet, he just watches me gesticulating like a nutter… But a couple of weeks ago in amongst the mamamama and mummy there was a longer ’emmmm’, and then an ‘ilk’. He actually wanted milk! Even though ‘words’ other than mama are rare, there’s constant babble which is the sweetest happiest sound. He raises his voice to be heard if there’s a conversation going on that he isn’t in!

Keep clear of technology

I need to use my phone less. He notices, and I only use it when he’s asleep or entirely focussed on something. It lives face down on the table, or in my pocket, on silent. I can’t see or hear notifications so I get to them when I get to them! Photos are the exception. When he’s sitting or doing tummy time a selfie is a great way to get him to put his head up for longer as he is fascinated by what he can see.

TV is basically off the menu. We will watch the BBC news at about 6pm to catch up with Theresa and the day’s drama… But our reliance on rainbow dance party as a distraction is almost absent now… We have our own dance parties instead and both chill out with Classic FM! Instead of the TV we sit in front of the mirror smiling at ourselves, which of course he loves.

I have found that musicals are a good diversion though. I sung my heart out to Mamma Mia and we danced around the living room… He absolutely loved it and napped like a super trooper straight after!

Sleep is for kings and queens

I didn’t expect to get so much sleep, but also to survive on so little. Sounds like an oxymoron, but we get more sleep than I expected. But it is still less than I like, the definition of lots of sleep changes… These days I can sleep with the lights on and do well out of a snatched 45 minutes here and there… A lie in tends to be hard earnt… I do a little happy dance if after a little 6.30am feed I can shush him to sleep next to me in bed. That extra 45 minutes before we are up for the day is the best sleep! I absolutely adore lying next to him watching him snooze. When he started sleeping through at 3 1/2 months, wow, I felt like a new woman!

A few times recently, he has woken in the night after he hasn’t for a long time… In our case because of a nasty cold, and perhaps the start of teething… I find it hard, now, to function properly just losing an hour, despite being up say 4 times in the night in the early days and taking that in my stride. How quickly the mind and body forgets. A 4am wake up, which is what we have seen a few times, is pretty tough. He’s quite awake and it’s a job to convince him back to sleep… I never begrudge him for it as he delivers the sweetest smile and squeak when I scoop him up, arms waving like a windmill! The 24 hours with minimal sleep (for me, he slept) is a personal ‘best’ I hope isn’t repeated…

Shop until you drop

I never expected to dig through the baby clothes sale rail in Tesco. But I happily do. Great bargains. We have plenty of lovely clothes, but with the amount of dribble, milk and sweet potato, supermarket clothes are my go to! There’s a delivery from somewhere many a day… Never for me… Always for him. All I’ve bought recently is another £15 pair of M&S jeggings!

Amazon really is a life saver. Whilst I always prefer to shop small if I can plan ahead, there always seems to be something that I need the next day. Living in the boonies any shop is a 20 minute drive away and so I’m almost on first name terms with the delivery drivers in our area now! Best things we bought? The Shnuggle bath and Ollie the Owl. Props yes, but they make things easy. And life would not be the same without the perfect prep milk machine…

He is so much easier to dress now, apart from when he ‘helps’ by grabbing the lining of a sleeve or kicking a trouser leg off as you put the other on. The newborn delicateness I don’t miss when it comes to dressing!

Find your tribe

Having a baby is a script for becoming a social butterfly. I talk to so many random people now because either we are discussing our respective babies when we are sat near each other in a coffee shop, or someone stops to coo over mine! Then there’s my NCT mums, the baby classes and all the other local mummies. There’s always something going on. It’s a busy time and we haven’t even started trying to schedule play dates!!

And whilst our little NCT WhatsApp group is a little quieter now we aren’t up in the night so much… It’s the first place I turn with a question or a revelation as we are still living the same adventure together!

I got a bit glum in December, as I was sat at home missing the usual work Christmas parties whilst Mr P enjoyed all of his. A lesson in planning ahead for me to make sure I have enough fun stuff for me (I had scaled back too far having been tired from doing too much) but also making sure there’s balance between us both too.

A couple of baby classes each week is sufficient and great fun. The babies love any sensory explosion and it’s limited effort for the mums as all the ‘stuff’ is there ready for us! The classes are so much easier now he sits unaided and I love having a natter with other mummies too.

Daddy and baby have mastered swimming lessons and bathtime… What was fraught a few months ago is now fun for all involved. The bathroom is a far damper space now that the kicking he learnt at swimming has transferred to his bathtub! He already got his first stage badge, that side of life has begun already!

Routine schmoutine

I read somewhere a great thing – to remember that you are a child’s parent and not their friend. I am sure this will get more relevant as he gets older, but even now when I put him down for a nap and all he wants to do is play… I have to remember that I know better than him that a nap is a good thing and we must do what is best!

Routine and naps are hard work. To stick to and to enforce. And sometimes to spot the signs of tiredness to start the process at the right time. Baby’s love routine they say. Apart from when they don’t, normally when I have made plans! Agree to meet someone at 10 because he feeds at 11 and he will feed at 9.45!! And when I think I have cracked routine something changes: sleeping later in the morning, moving on to solids or whatever else that can rock our little apple cart!

He’s actually taught me this week, that I need to watch him more carefully. Just because he’s wanted milk and sleep at a certain time for a few weeks… He may be more or less tired today. On any day the routine is driven by him and the more carefully I watch and learn his signals the happier we all are! Already it feels like he is dropping a nap (not sure which) and the dream feed is fast becoming a thing of the past.

Starting on solids is an awful lot of fun. I don’t like mess one iota, but smeared across his face and hands and thus across me, I love it! When after a few days he started to smile and swallow more than he dribbled, I did a little cheer! Sweet potato, broccoli, porridge, carrot and finally peas have so far all been successful!

A world of possibilities

Travel isn’t impossible, and it can be fun too. It takes far longer to find somewhere appropriate to stay, and far more preparation and packing time is needed… But since October we’ve been to London, to the north of England twice and to Vienna. And I have to say we enjoyed each of the trips far more than we had expected!

I have watched no daytime TV. My book reading is negligible. I haven’t really managed to do any cooking or baking. I do however take a little more time to clean the house… Well, his things in the house (especially those darn milk bottles)! The rest I leave to my cleaners, and they must hate me because now I spend so much time in the house I notice and point out when things aren’t perfect!

I still manage to shower every day and turn up on time for things. Easier than I had expected. I haven’t had to use my dry shampoo, or leave the house in yesterday’s clothes yet! If I am in the house by myself these days, I wander around talking to myself! I also talk to baby as we trundle round the supermarket or a country walk. All perfectly normal! I did get some posh new loungewear for Christmas and am enjoying not getting properly washed or dressed until later in the day now!!

A lot of people say it gets easier after the fourth trimester. I disagree. Yes – I have more energy, get more sleep and feel more like me again. And I know my baby, so it isn’t scary when things don’t go to plan. But, he is more demanding. Whilst most every day has a milestone, every day is exhausting! And there are still times when I have no idea what I am doing, and wing it. The best thing is that we can easily get out and about and enjoy ourselves. And he’s old enough to enjoy the things we do. Seeing the world through his fascinated and amazed eyes has been a highlight. So I would say it isn’t easier, or harder. It’s different. With higher highs – the smiles, chats and interest in everything that shows me I am doing a good job. Rewarding and fun, lucky and blessed.

Half way to one already, half way to going back to work… Things not to dwell on, although I was on a work conference call yesterday and I enjoyed it and still have what it takes!!

Each day of these past 6 months has in itself been pretty uneventful – thankfully. But when I put all the days together, the journey is the most extraordinary and magical one I have ever been on. I don’t want to forget a second of it. The squeaks, movements, smiles, giggles, cuddles, cries, concentration, mama babbles, milestones… The presence of a tiny human in our lives has changed our lives. He will only recall little snatches but I want to remember it all.